What’s in a Word?

"If you talk to a man in a language he understands,

that goes to his head.

If you talk to him in his language,

that goes to his heart."

- Nelson Mandela

(Warning: Coarse language included. Sorry, but I run with a rough crowd.)

I am learning something. Words do not always communicate. I feel I am constantly learning a new language (even foul if need be) as I try to communicate with people.

I have noticed several of the juvenile offenders, who are referred to New Path Center through Fresno County Probation, Kingsburg Police, or the Victim Offender Reconciliation Program, do not understand the meaning of the word “conflict.” So, when I use the terms “Conflict Management,” “Conflict Style,” or ask them to describe a “conflict” they have experienced, they do not have a clue what I am talking about.

I am listening and, hopefully, learning.


Definitions of "con·flict" from those I serve:


Punking: Manipulation, deceit.

Issue: A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one

Combat: A prolonged armed struggle

Argument: An incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or interests

Beef: A condition in which a person experiences a clash of opposing wishes or needs

F***ed Up: Be incompatible or at variance

Drama: Having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings

Gang War: A clash or disagreement, often violent, between two opposing groups or individuals; An incompatibility, as of two things that cannot be simultaneously fulfilled; To be at odds (with); to disagree or be incompatible; To overlap (with), as in a turf-war

Smack, dogging, talking s**t: Striking, or dashing together; fighting; contending; struggling to resist and overcome; Being in opposition; contrary; contradictory

Bitch: Limitations, complexities, or complications that result in a disagreement between the parties involved as to how the remediation is to be performed

Problem: Someone wants something and people and things keep getting in the way of them achieving the goal

Harassment: A situation in which opposing viewpoints have come into physical confrontation. Conflicts are more intractable than simple disputes because of the existence of institutionalized, fundamental disagreement with limited malleability of participants or the situation

Jacked-up: the clash of actions, emotions, objectives, or philosophies that inhibit or divert the agonists, either protagonist or antagonist; including innerpersonal, intrapersonal, interpersonal, extrapersonal, antisocial, cross-cultural, extrasocial, and mystical

Coarse as some of these words are, my goal is to speak to hearts; to experience communication where the words don't get in the way.